ブルーオリジン搭乗後の批判にアマンダ・グエンがうつ病を経験：「私は巻き添え被害者のように感じた」

Bioastronautics research scientist Amanda Nguyen, who was part of Blue Origin's first all-female flight crew in April, is opening up about what happened after the round-trip expedition to the edge of space.Nguyen became the first Vietnamese woman to go to space when she took part in historic Flight NS-31 made up of singer Katy Perry, broadcast journalist Gayle King, philanthropist Lauren Sánchez (wife of Blue Origin owner Jeff Bezos), former NASA rocket scientist Aisha Bowe, and film producer Kerianne Flynn.

The event sparked different reactions, with many celebrities speaking out about its cost and the privatization of space travel.All-female flight crew from NS-31.Cover Images via AP ImagesThe PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now!Nguyen said in a lengthy statement posted on Instagram on Sunday, December 28, that the "aftermath of the spaceflight" caused her to go into a deep depression that she recalled telling King "might last for years."

She said she felt like her professional experience and dreams "were buried under an avalanche of misogyny."All-female flight crew from NS-31.Cover Images via AP ImagesThe astronaut said the "volume of coverage was unprecedented" and at scale, even a "small fraction of negativity becomes staggering."

"It amounted to billions of hostile impressions — an onslaught no human brain has evolved to endure. I felt like collateral damage, my moment of justice mutilated," she wrote.Related StoriesNguyen said she didn't leave Texas for a week as she was unable to get out of bed, and a month later, "could not speak through my tears."

While it was vital for her to remain strong publicly, she acknowledges that there "has been overwhelming good that has come out of this.""It's been 8 months since then, and I'm glad that the fog of grief has started to lift," she wrote. "Vietnam saved me. My friends who continually checked in on me saved me.

The love of my community saved me. You all saved me."Nguyen said she appreciated the people who took time "to uplift my research, my activism, and my story so it wouldn't be overshadowed.""In my moments of deep grief this year, I reached back out to a familiar place, to her - my survivor self - who found the strength to fight.

How horrible that I needed to deploy that skill once again," Nguyen wrote.From the experience, Nguyen learned that "we never fully leave behind our past selves," but is proud to have "kept my promise" and has focused on "kindness" even through "the tusnami of harrasment.""It is the greatest gift this holiday season that I can feel the fog lifting," Nguyen wrote.

"I can tell Gayle it's not going to take years."If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.